Dementia tax? I don't get it???

Discuss news stories and political issues that affect carers.
I do not think the value of the house should be considered. People pay taxes on income, how they spend it should be up to them. People who fritter their money away and don't buy a house should be treated in the same way as those who buy houses and don't have holidays, smoke or drink. To "tax" people on their houses if they need care amounts to double taxation.
"My mother and father in law left everything to us and you know what? None of it means anything without our son. What is the point of having the money and nobody to leave it to? Ditto with buying a house. We don't drink, we don't smoke we don't go clubbing, both of our health is shot so a lot of holidays we won't be be able to go on anyway and there is nowhere we want to go."

What can I say Eun? What can anyone say? No one can. Except another mother who has the same unbearable shoes as you. The rest of us HAVE to 'pass by on the other side of the street' (and be grovelingly grateful that we CAN do so.....)

All I can say is that I know a little where you are coming from, as that feeling descends on me from time to time, when I think how 'lovely' my life is (and I am VERY VERY VERY VERY appreciative of that, believe me!).....and yet my husband is not here with me. (But, and this is what I cannot say to you, because how can I, I still have my son, and how can I say that to you, how can I? I feel ashamed even to say it....)

Maybe all we can say is that we know in our hearts that those we have loved and lost would want us to have as much 'joy' out of life still as we can. We would want that for them, if they were where we are.
Sajahar - very true. It is precisely because our longevity now in the west is so long, that we are facing this problem. Pneumonia used to be called 'the old man's friend' because it polished off the elderly and ailing, and now we pump antibiotics in and keep them going.

The whole issue of 'quality of life' is very very difficult one. And it 'should' be the case that if we get to the point in our lives when we, personally, feel our QoL is 'below acceptable levels' for ourselves as individuals, that we can choose to 'call time' on ourselves, whether that is passively opting for DNRs etc (including no antibiotics maybe!) or even, more controversially, 'actively' taking steps to call time.

BUT the real problem then becomes 'what do we do in the case of dementia'? By definition, if dementia sets in then of course the person can't give an 'informed consent' to their own DNR etc etc. The only recourse is for each of us to have some kind of advance directive so that 'in case of dementia, implement DNR' (or whatever).

The other problem can be that it's all very well having an advance directive etc, but it could be that (if there is no dementia, only physical infirmity) when the time comes, actually, we realise that ANY QoL is better than the alternative!!!!! Who knows how 'brave' we'll be when our own demise is looming???

And then, of course, there can be situations where WE might wish the advanced directive activated, but our family desperately want us alive, even if infirm, because they don't want to lose us.....
BB - you raise the thorny question of 'the feckless rich' so to speak! ie, people who have blown all their money during their lifetime, indulging in all sorts of expensive goodies etc etc, and then expect the state to step in and look after them free in their old age!
Nowadays, it's not a question of frittering money away, there's no way I can afford a house and I won't inherit one. It's worse for people younger than me. I get BB's point about double taxation, but in the absence of increasing (or even collecting!) corporation tax revenue, I'm not sure what can be done.
To buy our house, with just a cold tap, leaking roof, outside privvy with just a bucket, we worked very hard in Australia, 1,000 miles from the nearest department store. Then we worked hard for years fitting mod cons. My husband was a hard working mechanic, often working 12 hours a day 7 dsys a week. Back in the UK, mending ferries, hw once worked 34 hours non stop to get it back into service. That's why I feel hard working people are being penalised.
They should disregard one house...it's bad enough to lose someone with dementia before they've gone without families losing inheritance as well because someone is unfortunate enough to get dementia...Okay if 2 or more houses are owned fair play to take those into consideration for selling for care fees.
This situation is not in isolation though...they take into consideration for the purpose of legal aid if you have a house...Even when you live in it, you care in it and you are an unpaid carer you can not get legal aid if you own your home...it's an asset. Even though you still live in it and provide unpaid care and it's not for sale. If it was sold as your only home then you'd be making yourself 'intentionally homeless' if you didn't have it anymore even if you used your 'asset' to pay legal costs for the RIGHT of justice. So no legal right's access to those 'owning a house'. Such a 'fair' system in place...NOT.