John

"When caring takes over your life - it either hits you like a train or it creeps up on you.

When our son was diagnosed with Ring Chromosome 22 (a comparatively rare but very debilitating genetic abnormally) that was our train crash.  He has severe learning disabilities, no communication, epilepsy and is autistic. He is now 25 and increasingly difficult to handle. Both my wife and I have back problems from lifting and handling. 

Caring for my 85 year old mother-in-law, who has dementia, heart and thyroid issues crept up on us. Care in the Community failed her miserably and quite frankly she would not be around now if we hadn’t taken her into our home.

The first thing carers have to realise is that life will never be the same and that you will have to constantly battle against local and central government. The higher the level of care provided by unpaid family carers the less support the local authority will provide - "flogging the willing horse" and "emotional blackmail" are phrases that spring to mind. Caring will seriously damage your health, wealth and you will become increasingly socially isolated. Things like holidays, visits to the theatre, cinema, concerts, dining out, etc that once you took for granted become rare treats.

If it was not for the support of family in running our business, neither my wife or myself could work. As it is I work 3 days a week and my wife works two – it’s not easy and sometimes" the wheels come off", but we cope. Work is actually a form of respite for us, but those unable to work due to their roles as unpaid carers, they can easily find themselves consigned to a life of poverty relying on benefits like the woefully inadequate Carer’s Allowance."

End carer poverty

Carers UK is calling for a tax and benefit system that makes it easier to combine work and caring. more...